Hey there, teddyboos. It's been a year, almost.
But this afternoon someone asked if there was goign to be any talk about Bell Let's Talk day (about removing or reducing the stigma aaround mental illness). And I'd honestly forgotten about BLT day except for one post from Bell on the 25th of January, which I ignored.
But we need to talk about mental illness, and we need to remove the stigma both surrrounding mental illness(es) and talking about mental illness(es). So here I am, in the few minutes I have before I have to head off to something else.
I think in general mental and physical health are things we should be talking about, or at least be able to talk about. I get that no one wants to discuss their own, or others', digestive failures, or whatever, or details about this medical test, that procedure, this hospital stay, etc.
But there's nothing wrong with 'Oh, Alex's stomach is acting up again', followed by more details if anyone wants (and Alex and others are willing to share. So here's me sharing.
I was on leave last term, which meant that a) I was supposed to be working on a book, and b) I didn't have day-to-day duties at school. In the interest of full disclosure, the book didn't get done, but I made progress, which is more than could be said, really, up to that point. So yay me. on that score. But the not having day-to-day things that had to happen--like appearng at the office, being ready to teach classes, going to meetings etc. really did a number of my circadian rhythms and my diet.
So first, after the end of classes last spring, I started trying to devote actual time to the book, and to cleaning house. Neither got done, and either could have gone better and further, but whatever. Being a grown up and doing laundry and changing the sheets and takign out the garbage and so on are tasks that are never 'done' ("this adulting thing never ends, does it?" Rob earnestly asks hsi therapist the last time he actually saw him.) So progress of any kind is to be rewarded and regarded as an achievement. And so it has.
But anyway, by June I had become almost completely nocturnal. Never a morning person, not having anything forcing me to be out of bed, acceptably dressed (which in lockdown and Zoom-class times is not really an issue), I more often than not did not begin my day at what you might call socially regular hours. For going on six months or so my day started sort of at the crack of dusk. I'd eat one decent, balanced meal, maybe with an honest to goodness snack-sized snack a few hours before or after ('supper' was often around 10 pm), and I'd try to get various stuff done and finally climb back into bed around 4 or 5 in the morning. Sleep until early afternoon, fiddle on the devices for a couple hours, and get up. Rinse and repeat ad nauseam.
Which actually I woudln't mind keeping up with for the rest of my life, although the rest of humanity doesn't really make that a workable option.
I spent August trying desperately to get to the point where I could be vaguely lucid and presentable by at least 9am. Didn't really get the hang until school started. We're about 3 weeks in now and I'm still not settled into that routine. On the other hand, I'm taking my pills more regularly than I have been, and I have actually gotten a lot of work done during work hours. Which for me are usually like 9:30-10 to about 6 or 6:30. Not that every minute is work. I do my share of facebooking and twittering and playing West of Loathing (for some reason) during those hours, but for the most part the work day is spent working more than otherwise, and non-work days are seeing (to be honest, some serious sleepign in) and some work-work and house-work as
So how is my mental health? I have no idea. How is yours? I hope good.
