Pre-Fringe musings

This year's Winnipeg Fringe Theatre Festival ("20 years to life") is coming up, and as part of my participation as a volunteer venue team leader, I've been asked to provide a list of major and minor offences. Which doesn't make sense because as a VTL I'm a 'warden', not an infractor. Nonetheless, I'll play the game. The problem is that, as clever as I think I am, I'm definitely low man on the clever pole among Fringers. So I'm trying to dream up offences I'm willing to cop to (as it were) and I'm sure I'm the last one to come up with these:

• First degree Fringe
  
• Aggravated Fringe
  
• Fringing with a deadly weapon (?)
  
• Fringe with malice aforethought
  
• Possession with intent to Fringe
  
• Providing Fringe to a minor
  
• Fringing with a minor
  
• Transporting a minor across a state line for Fringe purposes (which doesn't work so well in Canada)
  
• Indecent Fringing
  
• Public Fringing
  
• Fringe and Run
  
• Hit and Fringe
  
• Grand Fringe Auto (ehh)
  
• Driving while Fringed/Fringing under the influence (depending on local laws)
  
• Fringing without a license
  
• Fringing with a suspended license
  
• Impersonating an officer of the Fringe
  
• Interfering with a Fringe scene
  
• Obstructing Fringe
  
• Jayfringing
  

But I'm leaving heavily toward:

• Maintaining an attractive Fringe
  
• Conspiracy to commit Fringe
  
• Solicitation with intent to Fringe
  
• Operating a common Fringe house